Conflict is inevitable. Whether it’s in our relationships, workplaces, or even within the church, there will come a time when we’re faced with the uncomfortable reality of addressing issues head-on. It’s part of being human. People are complex, and where there are people, there’s bound to be tension. Yet, as challenging as conflict may be, it’s also an essential part of growth, reflecting the way Jesus loves the church and desires for us to love one another. So, how does one navigate conflict in a healthy way?
Let’s begin with the reason why conflict can be difficult. Conflict often comes with pushback or, in other words, a challenge. Challenges will arise, and the conflicts you face will lead to immense growth when addressed head-on, as they reflect our relationship with God and one another, prompting us to depend more on Him to guide us through. Scripture supports this truth. In the workplace and even in the church, difficult conflicts lead to growth by uncovering underlying issues, improving performance through feedback, and resolving disputes. In church leadership and ministry teams, conflict is not just unavoidable—it’s necessary. Healthy conflict allows teams to address misunderstandings, build stronger relationships, and work more effectively toward a shared mission. But the key lies in how we navigate conflict. How can we handle conflict in a healthy way that honors God and strengthens the body of Christ?
Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
One of the most effective ways to approach conflict is by seeking understanding. Jesus modeled this beautifully throughout His ministry. He often asked questions—out of the 305 questions Jesus asked throughout the Bible, roughly 80 of them were “how” or “why” questions. In other words, they were “curiosity questions” asked to gain deeper understanding.
How should this affect the way you approach conflict? In a team or leadership setting, practice active listening. Before jumping to conclusions or offering solutions, ask open-ended questions that help uncover the root cause of the conflict. When team members feel heard, it not only de-escalates tension but also fosters trust and respect.
Confront with purpose, not to win an argument
Confrontation doesn’t have to be synonymous with conflict. In fact, healthy confrontation is about addressing problems with the intention of resolving them, not fueling division. This is the key on how to have difficult conversations.
Scripture reminds us to be “slow to anger” (James 1:19), which is critical when emotions are high. Approach conflict with a calm and level-headed mindset. Avoid accusations or defensiveness, and instead focus on addressing the issue at hand. When handled with humility and grace, confrontation becomes an opportunity for restoration rather than division.
Encourage rather than expose
One of the quickest ways to escalate conflict is by shaming or blaming others. Jesus never approached people with the intent of exposing their flaws or tearing them down. Instead, He encouraged, uplifted, and offered grace. In Dale Carnegie’s popular book How to Win Friends and Influence People, he highlights the importance of addressing conflict by starting with praise. He advises, “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.”
In a church setting, we must be careful not to attack someone’s character or make them feel small. Focus on offering constructive feedback and solutions rather than criticizing. Build each other up, even when addressing tough issues (Ephesians 4:29). Encouragement will always be more effective than condemnation in fostering healthy conflict resolution.
Don’t avoid conflict—face it with courage
While it may be tempting to avoid conflict altogether, unresolved issues can fester and cause deeper divisions over time. As Jesus taught in Matthew 18:15, addressing conflict directly and privately is essential for maintaining unity.
Having the courage to face conflict doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it is necessary. Think of it as an act of service—bringing clarity, healing, and growth to your team. Conflict handled well builds trust and strengthens relationships, creating a healthier environment for ministry.
Why healthy conflict matters
No growth comes without challenge. Conflict often feels uncomfortable because it forces us to confront hard truths—about ourselves, our relationships, and our teams. But challenges are opportunities for growth. They help refine us and draw us closer to God as we depend on Him for wisdom and guidance.
Healthy conflict strengthens teams by addressing underlying issues, fostering open communication, and creating a culture of trust. As Dale Carnegie once said, “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them.” When we approach conflict with this mindset, we create space for deeper connection and greater impact.
- How is your church leadership or ministry team fostering a culture of healthy conflict resolution?
- Are there opportunities to create more open and honest communication within your church?
- How can you personally reflect Christ in how you approach conflict?
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about how to navigate conflict in your church, remember that you’re not alone. With prayer, wisdom, and intentionality, you can create a healthier, more unified church culture. Let’s continue to grow together, learning how to lead in a way that reflects Christ’s love and grace—even in the face of conflict.
